Ugh, it seems like everything lately is college, college, college. I canapos;t talk to ANYONE without college being�at least part of the conversation. Yes iapos;m going to college, yes i know what i want to major in, yes i know where iapos;m applying. And like my parents keep CONSTANTLY reminding me, i am lucky that they care so much about it, because theirsapos; didnapos;t and thatapos;s why they didnt go and my dad works a shitty factory job and my mom only gets paid $8 an hour. But then it seems like theyapos;re setting their standards so high, and i donapos;t know if i can do everything they want me to. Lately it seems like i have 0 motivation, for anything. Thatapos;s not good, not good at all.
sometimes i think about how i donapos;t want to grow up and i wanna be 17 forever and just have no responsibilities and drink all the time and spend my money how i want to. If time froze right now, iapos;d be happy, no complaints, besides the whole school/stress issue. But then there is those times where i just wanna skip ahead and be all moved out and live in chincoteague, in my little 2 story house with flowers everywhere and ducks living in my yard, and my husband who loves me and our 5 little kids, and iapos;m an elementary school teacher and heapos;s got a decent job that can actually support�us if we live there, cause itapos;s way expensive down there. Gay, i know. Donapos;t care. Thatapos;s what i want
i know i could support myself now if i had to. I could get a couple roommates, pick up a few more hours at the giant, and iapos;d be good. Thereapos;s certain nights where i want nothing more than to be out of here and not have to deal with the shit that my parents say to me anymore.
but thatapos;s it iapos;m tired, iapos;m always just so tired lately, and i want�to go to sleep.
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